friends

[idealist]

HI Guys and Dolls, I have been as busy as a bee. But I just wanted to share my thoughts on friendship because when we are truly connected with ourselves, we become connected to other people, and then synchronicity kicks in.

I received an email from a former neighbour (well sent a few days ago from my former neighbours son who is 5 or so years younger than me, but he is the most deepest, spiritually connected wise, intelligent old soul I know) although I only discovered his email today because I have not logged on to my email for over one week.

The last time I spoke to him his younger brother died. I really could not remember his brothers name (I can now) and I asked him his brothers name so I could say a prayer for him (although I forgot to mention it was for a pray and started to menion other things). He was upset and I never heard from him until today. I thought about him because I share a really deep kindred spirit friendship that transcends (I believe) beyond the realms of this world (no I am not crazy ) ...but he was in pain and I had to let go.

He said he couldn't stop thinking about contacting me (by the way we were just friends and have no romantic intrest in one another). I replied but felt as if he was actually reaching out to me because (his brother died round about this time 3yrs ago). Although he was worried about me I think subconsciously he is worried about himself. I can feel that he needs help and maybe he is not connected to anyone as strongly as we were (we just had the deepest honest conversations, that is very rare to find).

Anyway I had a dream last night about another friend who I last spoke to sometime last year (I also have a very strong bond to him as well). In my dream I dreamt he needed help. I called him today not based on my dream, because although in my dream he needed help he did not want to ask anyone for help. But because of my former neighbours email. I contacted him and we started talking about India and he said I was not the first person to mention today that he should go there. He sounded okay but not very upbeat. We got talking so more and then I realised that he did need help and I could help him with what was going on and in turn he could help me. He was so happy as was I and it made me realises my other friend was right I did need help (not really from my neighbour but he did help me in a roundabout way) . I needed help but I was to "independent" to ask anyone for it .

I think we all become so isolated and independent. If people do not turn their backs on us we than drive them away. Yes we sympathise, empathise and do everything in-between, but we always remain ready for peoples reactions (often moving away in disgust). So that is what we expect and numb ourselves to the reality that we do not fit into society.

Often our friendships suffers, we do not want to be a burden to our friends so we have less and less contact, or when our friends go we let them go because we may think they are better off. We do not have to be hermits rotting away indoors.

You never know how you can help someone by just taking to them and they may help you inturn.


PS thanks for your pm flower ....come back on the forum (they say the hardest people to understand, understand the most....or something along those lines) I am sure you are just misunderstood (as I am) and that may not be a bad thing x

[flower]

Hi idealist,

I will come back, I was just two weeks on vacation and had some things on my mind,
Everything is fine with me,

Flower

[idealist]

Hi flower,
good to see you back on the forum and hope you enjoyed your holiday. x

[flower]

Hi idealist,

Probably this is not the right answer what you want, I am not so spiritual as you are I guess, but I also believe in people who can feel what other people need, .....but not the way you do I think....

I had some things on my mind last time but most of the problems we create themselves....
and I will not tell every detail on the forum because it can make me very weak.
And since I met some very nice people i will be more careful with my words....
I decided not to hurt people anymore, because I think I did. Not that I was realising that I did....

I think the first step is that we must accept that we have this....
and than looking for solutions or ways to cope in our own situation.
And it doesn't mean we fail in some things in life that there is no way out,
There is always a way out,
and we can always looking for other ways in our life...

just coping and being flexible, that's what life is.

Look and some people, some people only have problems but the get stronger to survive, and they stay smiling ....
and other people have a luxury spoiled but very empty life and they will go under after one little problem...

Just think this : there is not only one way to live our life
there are different ways to live our lifes
when we chose for kids for instance we have to take a responsibility...

but there are more ways than we can choose and we just can't take all the ways
And which way is the way what makes us the most happy ?

Life is too short to spoil,

This is maybe no answer what you need, I always wonder who you are ? You must be a very intellectual person, I can't reach that level.....

Take care, Flower

[flower]

Hi idealist,

I understand what you want to say, will send you later,

Flower

[flower]

Sometimes I have the impression you know me very well in a way....
I have also the impression that you often knows what I need....
And to understand me, i think it is not simple....

I also had some experiences that I could feel someone needs help and being connected to anyone very strongly....and that is very rare....

You said.....you never know how you can help someone by just taking to them and they may help you inturn....

You always helped me but maybe I could help you too by explaining some feelings ? or why do you mention me ?

Maybe because I explained some feelings you understand something you needed in your life too ?
Something about yourself, your friend, your ex-friend, your situation ? I don't know exactly what you wanted to say.....

When we are truly connected with ourselves, we become connected to other people, and then synchronicity kicks in. I think I understand it ....or not totally....

I think we must have some things in common that you know me so well, or you readed all my posts....and we have not so much in common ?

Maybe we must have some things in common, same experiences, interest, maybe your friend has my character? or your ex, whatever ?...

With some people, we are just connected with, and synchronicity kicks in....

How can it be for instance that you meet someone you never met before and just talking to someone you have the impression that you are connected with that person, and the feeling that you just know him whole your life....
And that is very rare to find.

I think some of those people can become good friends....some, but not all,...
I think we can find our friends in people with who we feel connected....in our egals (don't know if that's the word, have no translation book)....
But we can also reach out to people we don't understand, just listening to what a person says, and just feeling he needs some help, ....listening to someone else can make you understand how the other person is....and we can also learn from each other.

Maybe we feel kind of soulmates coping with the same, body odor,...
But real friendships are also based on other things that connect us like interests, character, and if we are open minded, .....with some people it clicks better....than with other people.....but we can always trying to understand each other.

I don't know if this is also what you mean by your dream ???

But I think it is not easy for us with tmau.
and every situation and every person and every workplace and every relationship,....is different.

It is not by just saying that we have a rare disorder in our metabolism that the world is going to open for us.
Maybe only our connected souls will help us ????? Or some rare nice people ?????

Or do you want to try to say that I am truly connected with myself and thought also other people need help,
but I realised I needed help myself ? Or were you realising that you needed also help ?????

I always tried to climb the high mountains but never reach the top. I am just walking in the middle ? But have we all to reach the top ? I think I often lose my way and often changes my ways, but there are so many beautiful ways, and we can't take all the same ways. And I have so many obstacles on my way to reach the top. But I think everyone has his difficulties....
Maybe changing our direction will be nicer sometimes....
And I know I made so many mistakes on my way and I hope people will forgiv me....

And I know I needed help. But who doesn't need help ? We just sometimes need other people to carry on and that they will take over when we are tired...We can't walk with all ballast the whole way on our own.

I think we need other people sometimes, when we are lost. We are connected with others and with the whole world.

Sometimes my mind wants to go in a direction but sometimes we have to listen to our body, do we feel well in our body, maybe there are signals saying we are in the wrong direction or we have to ask for help where we lost our way.

I am glad I received all this help but I feel also deeply shamed that I made so many mistakes.

I will end here with this message, maybe it is again a totally wrong response,

Take care of you, Flower

[idealist]

It has been reinforced today that sometimes you can not help your friends, no matter how much you want to it is down to them. I wonder how many of us have and haven't told our friends and how many of our friends have asked us 'what's up ' directly?

Hi flower, Soulmates is a complex topic for me, I believe many people are soul mates....we all can learn from one another (but that is a long story)
ps-hope all is well with you, your family and the best friend you were having problems with. look after yourself

-just found my old reflexologist contact details (in a place I have seached many times before). All this synchronicity is making me very happy I have seen other people but this lady was the best, fingers crossed her number has not changed.

[flower]

We can just listen to our friends what they need and maybe something more, but we can't be responsible for what they do if we did so many things. We can just confrontate them that we did everything to do for help and that they are responsible themselves, if they work on their problems or not...

Don't feel too responsibe, ...... sooner or later, they will change....



Flower

[flower]

I am well idealist,

A lot of my problems are solved. My family are well, my friends are well,.....feeling myself okay...

But I have some problems that the world is unfair sometimes.
And I have problems to ask for help (professional help I mean)

and it is a great contradictory

Because I have to start to treat people fair, to try to stand fair in the world,....
And I am the one who asked the most for help here

But it's never to late to change.....and other people who have more right to ask help will never have made such a dramatic thing of this all....there are people just surviving each day, just have no foods for their kids, who even did not so dramatic as me....

Flower

[flower]

about the reflexicologe...

That is a coincidence, ...

I have a friend, we did in the past yoga together before she get pregnant to her youngest kid.
She asked me few weeks ago for a footmassage.
She is going to start to do it as a professional and I think she was now asking her best friends to begin with ....
I said to her : I am doing this in no way, it is nothing for me....

She is a very sweet silent but very sensible spiritual nice lady, I would like it but .... I was just scared she would recognise my body odour....

But we went together lots of times to the fitness a few years ago.... she never let me down because of my odour....in the past....

Flower