New sufferer - mental health breaking down

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New sufferer - mental health breaking down

Postby coffeebean » Sun Sep 24, 2017 11:48 am

Hi everyone

Hoping to reach out to someone who can help me put TMAU into perspective as I feel like I'm losing all motivation and joy in life. I haven't been diagnosed yet although I think I'm lucky with my GP who more or less straight away offered to make a referral for me. I strongly suspect that when I do get tested, it will come back positive as all my symptoms seem to indicate TMAU - although my smell is more of garbage or fart than fish (but I can't smell myself).

I believe that my odour is transient, and think that it developed in my very early 20s (I'm now 28). There were no comments or hints during my teenage years or uni, but looking back people made the odd comment throughout my 20s but I never put 2 and 2 together at the time. It's only since March this year when I changed jobs and people in my new office were more vocal about the office smelling funny that I realised I may have a problem. I find myself watching people's expressions all the time when they talk to me now to see if it looks like I might be smelling. I have been on 2 courses of Roaccutane in my 20s and antibiotics for acne, and wonder if this may have triggered it - Roaccutane can affect your liver.

I confided in my flatmate last night (the first person) as the day before I knew I'd been symptomatic which may have been combined with me being on my period. She didn't seem surprised when I told her, but said she couldn't smell me but would tell me in future if she did detect anything.

I can't even begin to describe how paranoid I now am about whether I smell or not. It's the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed. In my head, it's all that defines me. I'm withdrawing socially and spend most of my time in my room, crying. I have bad headaches all the time which I suspect may be from the low-choline diet I've been following. Things I used to enjoy like going and getting my nails done put me on edge now in case I'm smelling. I've been dating a lovely guy for 3 1/2 months and I know that he can smell me sometimes. Even though he's the first guy I've liked in years I'm leaning towards ending it just because I can't handle the worry and stress of wondering whether the odour's there when I'm with him. The thought of meeting his family or friends terrifies me in case I'm symptomatic at the time.

I get stressed about meetings at work, and have taken 2 sick days already this year out of fear the odour was there (I'm only allowed 3 a year). I'd never dream of telling them though as it's just mortifying for me at the moment.

Grateful if someone who has been in the same frame of mind could offer some words of advice on how to get on top of this as I feel like I'm losing the will to live and can't picture having a happy normal life at all.

Sorry for the ramble.

Coffeebean
coffeebean
 
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Re: New sufferer - mental health breaking down

Postby Mermadia » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:13 pm

Hi coffee bean, I would push for a diagnosis firstly, then you can move forward, trying to do it all on your own is hard especially when no one gets it, trust me I know how much it obsessives you each day, even today my kids teacher came to speak to me about something, my heart was beating I zipped my coat up like a yeti, he was holding his nose whilst I was speaking then saw him talking to another teacher who looked over and they laughed I heard the word "horse poo", I thought sod it when I got home and scoffed a portion of chips, what I'm trying to say is you'll drive yourself crazy thinking about do I smell, dont I?, things to do no matter how hard tell your boss, drink lots of water, get enough rest, don't sweat small stuff, if you do end up with a definite tmau diagnosis it's a trial and error of what works for you, for me I take zinc, encrypted peppermint capsules, vitamin b2 100mg twice daily, sometimes charcoal which lasts roughly two hours, meat only once a week which is either chicken breast or turkey, no dairy, gluten, egg, or soy, good luck, chin up remember no one's poop smells of roses unless they stick potpourri up their butts,
Mermadia
 
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