SHAME

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SHAME

Postby idealist » Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:16 pm

"This isn't about meditation, or high spiritual states, or controlling your internal state, it's much more basic, but if you don't deal with it, it can ruin your life........

What is shame? Shame is, quite simply, the feeling that there is something wrong with you. In more extreme cases, it is the feeling that there is something TERRIBLY, IRREVOCABLY, DEEPLY, FUNDAMENTALLY, wrong with you. You feel broken, and there's nothing that can be done. Nothing works. Anyone who likes you or sees value in you just isn't looking closely enough to really see the "real" you.

And, the last thing you'd ever want would be for anyone to see past the facade and notice that you are broken, that there is something deeply wrong with you. So, you create all kinds of ways to hide, to cover up what you're afraid others will notice. You could use humor, or your intelligence, or your ability to perform in the world. You could hide behind being fat, or behind being a drug addict or an alcoholic (or smelling). You could hide by creating a fantasy world where you act as if you're better than other people, or you try to control others. Perhaps you imagine that people don't like you (or do like you), when they may not be paying much attention to you either way. You could try to cope by being macho, or by being pitiful. There are scores of ways a person suffering from shame could attempt to cope. All the emotional dysfunctions we see in Centerpointe participants--anger, sadness, anxiety, substance abuse, fear, depression, powerlessness, relationship problems, and many others--can be shame-based.

A person suffering from shame may function well in the world, or their shame may keep them from being functional in many situations. Sometimes shame is layered beneath many defense mechanisms, and the outer appearance is one of "I'm fine. Nothing bothers me." Other times, it is so close to the surface the slightest thing can send the person into tears, anger, depression, or come other reaction. Sometimes the person knows they are ashamed, and something they have so successfully hidden the feeling they don't even know they have it." TAKEN FROM http://chetday.com/chakrahealing.htm
Last edited by idealist on Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: SHAME x2

Postby idealist » Thu Nov 25, 2010 7:29 pm

Okay I am not sure if this should be in the inspirational section or not so I will let you decide. I hope this is not too “hippy” for you all.

I am putting other people’s needs and feelings before my own (and not in a good way). I feel ashamed, sometimes worthless (at my low points) powerless and frustrated. To be honest I have had these (unconscious) feelings before I started smelling. Could I have created this smell unconsciously? Does the smell represent how I feel deep down? If the doctor says there is nothing wrong with me, maybe my body is trying to tell me that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME and that I have created a problem. All I know is that when I feel any type of emotion I feel it in my gut/ third chakra.

As I have written before Doctor Lachmann told me that it is almost impossible for me to have TMAU. I felt as if he was playing a practical joke on me. I was in total shock....... I am still not sure what is wrong with me? (I hope members who have been tested positive do not mind me a non TMAU person commenting on this site?)

I have recently started to take Nullo after the Calcium, Mag & Zinc only worked for one day and after the one day it would only solve the problem of morning breath. I felt sick after taken them at night but I continued. The feeling sick was for nothing :cry: The Nullo pill not only made the morning breath come back, but it makes my toilet turn green :lol: I also feel pain in my stomach all the time. I have avoided my beloved University (needed a long break to charge myself after nasty looks and comments) and other new developments are happening (fingers cross this works out).

After reading new member Flowers posts I was upset. I was upset for her for me and for all of us on this site. Then it occurred to me that the doctors say I do not have a problem!!! So what is wrong with me? I do not believe this is in my mind (it clear from other peoples reactions that it is not in my mind).

Anyway the pain I felt when I take Nullo took me back to 7/8 years ago when I discovered chakras and that I had a problem with my Solar Plexus. I have had a lot of healing over the years (in regards to this chakra). I thought I was healed........

I knew basically that the problems that I was having was connected with my chakra being blocked (this can effect digestion). However I did not look into healing myself I just went and saw people to heal me. I was only healed for a short period (they just bandaged my wound).

I have always believed that pain and most illness are your bodies way of talking to you or teaching you lessons. I know that some people have a problem with this idea but each to their own.

Flowers post made me question myself and my situation. She was very open and wanted to cure herself. I have this book called Anything Can Be Healed by a man called Martin Brofman (he cured himself from a terminal illness). I bought the book a few years ago but I have never got past page 5. Anyway I used to work in a natural health centre a few years ago and one of the therapist there works with him. She wanted to help me with my smell (although she never said, I knew she was wanted to help). I went to see her but I told her I wanted to let go and move on (I was having relationship problems at the time). Anyway I'll go into that in another post- but I have now started to re-read the book.

I do think that my body is really trying to tell me something. I went and did more research on the third chakra on this website http://www.energyenhancement.org/chakra ... 0shame.htm

This is what it said:
Third Chakra Subjects
SHAME, SELF-WORTH, POWERLESSNESS.

A deep shame within our system is usually the product of events during childhood and adolescence, but can also occur at any stage in our life when we have been vulnerable and open with others and are ridiculed, heavily chastised, belittled, and made to feel small, stupid, and worthless. That which we felt was worthwhile is made to feel worthless. Being shamed is an act of disempowerment. We feel horrible about something that we feel was good.
Being shamed for being natural, open, loving, weak, or vulnerable hurts us deeply and this hurt lodges deep within our system causing depression, guilt, painful and neurotic/psychotic disorders. In a nutshell, we are damaged and that pain needs removing from our system. This process is called healing.

We just don't feel good enough to be alive. We feel inadequate and sorry to be alive. A deep shaming can cause us so much pain. We become apologetic for being alive. We lack assertive skills because the bottom line of shame is that we don't feel worthy of living.

Shame is the other side of the coin to self respect. Both these psychological states are expressions of the Third Chakra which is that part of our mind that is concerned with our activity in the world. If we don't feel that our activities are life enhancing and worthwhile then we naturally feel negative. It's a damaging and negative program that is being run in our third chakra.
Another good website is http://chetday.com/chakrahealing.htm
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Re: SHAME

Postby magsie » Fri Nov 26, 2010 7:40 pm

Hi Idealist,

Your post is interesting. I know that with body odour conditions/TMAU we can feel very ashamed and even dislike ourselves because we struggle to find the cause/diagnosis and to control/cure the what can be a life-long problem. We have to constantly 'wash off' not just any odours at the end of the day of struggling through work/university, but also to 'wash away' those hurt emotions/negative thoughts sent towards us by others.
We have to strive to be positive. I'm TMAU2 only got diagnosed this year & low choline diet has transformed my life 'cause I'm odour free on the correct eating regime. I still get feelings of dread when I suddenly smell something in the office - but it certainly just someone eating chicken or smoky bacon crisps!

Chakras/healing and the solar plexus - I know all about that too. I trained to be a spiritual healer & used to go along to a healing group each week to treat people. Before I trained a met a healer & would go along for treatments, I found it helped me feel very relaxed and I slept very well after a treatment & felt uplifted too.
I learnt that if some ailment is a karmic condition then its more difficult to treat & maybe cannot be cured. Other illnesses - treated alongside conventional medicine/doctors advice, healing helps with pain relief and relaxation & gives people a sense of wellbeing.

I would visit mediums & various healers. One lady told me there was a connection with food and that I would put a name to it eventually. If you read a certain 'heal your life' brand of books they list the usual A-Z of illnesses and give an emotional/psychological reason for people suffering from them. So those books say that each illness we get is our own fault! I don't believe that! No-one would choose to go through life being hated by others because of their odour. We all need a chance to shine sometimes and have some success and happiness!

On one course I learnt about colour numerology, its usually known as numbers, but in this book each letter of alphabet connected with a number & colour, so you work out from your name if all the colours are represented in your name. If you lack a colour, then any illness may be related to the parts of the body connected to that colour.
I have no red in my name - and red is connected healthwise to blood/spine/organs for example. Yellow - now I have too much yellow in my name - that is said to be that I was born into this lifetime to learn things connected with the yellow solar plexus, so I have stomach problems & its also connected to heightened emotional upsets.

I've also been on courses to learn about psychic protection, & those techniques can really help us deal with colleagues who bear a grudge & look daggers/send us bad vibes. We can imagine a gold 'solar shield' covering our solar plexus so that our emotions are protected in times of conflict/criticism. There are many techniques to help reflect back at them their negative thoughts/words they send our way.
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Re: SHAME

Postby flower » Sat Nov 27, 2010 10:55 am

what do you mean with influence body and soul.

Maybe I have a psychiatric disorder like there is also borderline or something

Maybe with following symptoms :
feeding only the needs of the others
low selfesteem
low assertiv
low empowerment
closed person
odour problems

Maybe when we build up our self esteem and use our empowerment and being assertiv the odour is getting away....
But what with tmau 1? It is not build up in live, you have it from birth and it is in our genes.

I really must go to someone to build up my self esteem....

That could not be true....

Flower
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Re: Hi magsie

Postby idealist » Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:20 am

Hi magsie nice to meet you.

It is really nice to talk/type to other members and to have a variety of topics to think about. I enjoy all of the topics from; diet to supplements etc and it is nice to explore other avenues as well. Your post really got me thinking so thank you. I knew before I read your post that when I added up my name it equals three (yellow-solar plexus). I am not just saying that to make my post have validity: 5292199679529=75 7+5 =12 1+2=3.

Although I knew this I have never thought about the numbers individually. I have lots of nines which I found out is connected to all the colours or gold. As we know Gold is similar to yellow it is also a solar colour. I am also a Leo, again that is associated with the sun (yellow/golden) all =yellow. The only difference is that gold is on a slightly higher vibration then yellow. I found out it is to do with understanding, wisdom, completion and enlightenment..., 'gold is symbolic of flexibility on our spiritual path while life experience galvanizes our faith. One of the more valued elements, gold represents perfection in all matter, on any level. It also symbolizes humankind’s quest to perfect, illuminate and refine his/herself.' Health wise I guess it’s close to the problems associated with yellow only on a higher vibration... unfortunately I do not have any red, yellow (although my name is yellow overall) or green.

Do I think that everybody on this site will be connected to yellow? Or have problems with their solar plexus? No! I just think it is good to think about internal factors, emotional feelings alongside doctor’s advice and common sense. People should look at their feelings because we have more control over feelings then we have over our condition.

( kitty if you are reading this then look away now as it might get more hippy dippy.) Okay magsie I was really interested in your statement and I wanted to go into a health discussion. You wrote:

“So those books say that each illness we get is our own fault! I don't believe that! No-one would choose to go through life being hated by others because of their odour. We all need a chance to shine sometimes and have some success and happiness!”
I can defiantly understand what you mean on some level though. I can agree with you because can see it from your point of view. If we look at things through each others eyes then we can understand people much better.

Quick question:
What is the difference between that fact that the Dalai Lama believes that he is a reincarnation of all the former Dalai Lama’s (Apart from the fact that The Dalai Lama is well known) and a guy I met when I was living in Australia; he believed he was a reincarnation of Jesus? There is no real difference only that it is our choice to believe or accept the Dalai Lama’s idea over the other person’s belief. Each idea is just as unbelievable as the next but still the Dalai Lama is respected by people in high power and is taken seriously (apart from the Tibetan government etc).

What people “in those books” are saying is that we are here to grow and to learn lessons. I’ve never heard anyone say it is anybody’s fault (myself included). Your comment relates back to my post about our need to blame ourselves (why does it have to be anybody’s fault? Why is that your immediate response to put blame?). What shame is a “regrettable or unfortunate thing” which is similar to blame/fault. Look at the spelling of shame and blame they derive from the same place.People who are ashamed blame themselves. The truth is nobody is at fault. That’s the point! People actually have free will and if we don’t like a choice or feel that they have outgrown the choices we have made, then 90% of the time we can change our choices.

We all have a different reality, that is why some people are unable to smell themselves but they are able to smell others. They are use to their smell and to their reality. You have some people like the Dalai Lama who believes in deities and that is part of his reality. Some believe in the devil, or that there is no God, others believe in heaven or that there are human-reptilian bloodlines on Earth. These ideas are all real and are true because it’s someone else’s reality (not saying these realities are right or wrong just a person’s viewpoint). That is why there are psychics and mathematicians who can tap into another dimension often they live in another reality that many of us do not have access to.

I once had a lecture and he had seven degrees with an x amount of PhD’s he was a genius in Maths as is my uncle and their minds are like no other. They think in a different way and have a different understanding to the world. Sometimes I do not understand what they are saying but they understand and believe what they are saying. These are the reasons why I have learnt to respect everybody’s reality.

You have chosen a world were ‘nobody would choose to go through life being hated by others because of their odour.’ As I said I agree with you when I look at it from your point of view. However I can also tune in to my reality and I know that almost everything in life is connected and we can change and overcome almost anything given time. If we don’t like something in the world that we have created then we can change it once we have understood what is happening. After my last post I realised that I now wanted to change my reality (which is the mind) I am going to change my thoughts and beliefs about myself. The smell can hang around if it chooses but I want a healthy mind.

Also happiness and success should not be based on what others people think (smelling does not measure a person’s happiness). Many people do don’t smell like us and they are still unhappy. This is what I am trying (although struggling) to put into practice. We choose our thoughts so if we want to be happy, with effort we can change our definition of what happiness is. We should not base our happiness on what other people think.

I love that you said ‘we all need a chance to shine,’ do you think that statement may be connected with that fact that you have too much yellow in your name? I do agree with the statement but what do you mean by that? I already think you are shining. Although I cannot see you it’s clear that you have an illuminated soul just as much as it is clear that Kittykat is gifted in writing and has humour or Lyndsey is angelic and maternal being. We are all shining in our own way but it is not in some people’s reality to see our light and that is okay because not everybody lives in the same frame of mind. X
I hope you do not think I was trying to be condescending or uppity that was not my intention. I was just inspired by what you wrote. Raising questions has allowed me to decide the path I want to follow.

Ps: I am glad that things are working out at work. I have to admit I am surprised you work in an office? Normally people who train to be a spiritual healer don’t last long in an office environment. They are always in need for their freedom and have a desire to heal? Plus your energy is still on a spiritual healer’s vibration!
Last edited by idealist on Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:23 pm, edited 11 times in total.
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Re: Hi flower

Postby idealist » Sat Nov 27, 2010 11:38 am

flower wrote:what do you mean with influence body and soul.

Maybe I have a psychiatric disorder like there is also borderline or something

Maybe with following symptoms :
feeding only the needs of the others
low selfesteem
low assertiv
low empowerment
closed person
odour problems

Maybe when we build up our self esteem and use our empowerment and being assertiv the odour is getting away....
But what with tmau 1? It is not build up in live, you have it from birth and it is in our genes.

I really must go to someone to build up my self esteem....

That could not be true....

Flower

Hi Flower,

Just because you will build up your confidence does not mean that the odour will go. Your feelings associated with the odour may go (such as the feeling that you are brothering people etc) and yourself esteem may also improve. However people who lose weight still have body issues and still "think" they are fat . They struggle to come to terms with change beacause they have not delt with the issue around being over weight. Even magsie said that, although her smell is reduced she still thinks that if there is a smell in the room then it must be her even if it is not. Therefore it is a combination of many factors that differs from person to person.

Talking to someone is always a good start but it is only the first step in healing. Do not give up on doctor’s advice (like diet and medication) but add other methods to help deal with the condition. Try not to think too much about psychiatric disorders. We all have emotional problems that we have not dealt with and it sounds is if you are ready to confront your emotions. Other people can only build and knock your esteem if you let them remember that you hold the power in improving you mind. Odour is another matter completely and has a mind of its own.
x
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Re: SHAME

Postby flower » Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:38 pm

I mean that your body and your soul can influence each other.
It is proven that when you work to hard with lot of stress you can get hard attack
when you are a very closed person who never let see your feelings the chance that you get cancer is bigger?
More like that.

And there are disorders with different symptoms that can be a syndrome But I think you have than only psychological symptoms or only symptoms on your body.
And body odour is very different as psychological symptoms , there can not be a relation in it....I suppose....

When everybody on this forum has the same symptoms as I have it can be a symdome, but I suppose we have all our own character...
so there can be not a syndrom like I just said.....

Just finding a reason for my body odour, but maybe I never find this out, so what.....

Last days we have created lots of names for lots of disorders...It never ends....At the moment everybody is autism or ADHD......you give people a stigma,
and what if it s not true. you go your whole life farther with a stigma.....

Maybe my body is saying that I eat much to fat. U used to be not much more than 50 kilo, now I am almost 80......I must get on a real diet and the symptoms
of the odour reduce very much on its own I think... I must follow the procedure for tmau 2 with probiotics.....

but I think it s wrong. I must not be thinking about a reason for my complaints , the medicals find it maybe out one day...
I must not create a syndrom that not exists.

And nobody is perfect ,
Maybe I have low self esteem and must be more assertive....but I can work on it.
And I must accept the gifts that I have...

I always have been acting what others said....not what i find importance in live.

I must follow my own way...

We must just keep on positive thinking....The thougts of us can be destructive or influence us in a good way.
When we always thinks positive we reach a lot more in live....

Thanks for the reply
Flower
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Re: SHAME

Postby kittycat » Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:48 pm

Idealist, sorry to butt in, but I don't want you to think I've been taking the p@ss. I really have studied astrology, mosaics and stained glass window making, and a few more! (men look away now) I've also seen psychics, and tarot, and hand readers. One brilliant psychic told me I was a healer of animals, and I used to have dreams where I received messages from people I hadn't known, for people I hardly knew. I could also walk into a house and 'feel' who lived there before. I bought a flat with an ex and told him that a nurse had owned it, sure enough, in the loft were Nursing Mirrors fom 1915!! I stopped having these gifts when I took Prozac, but maybe, one day.......... So, please don't think, I think, you're a dippy hippy, You're just more intellectual than I could ever be. love kittyx
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Re: Hi kitty

Postby idealist » Sat Nov 27, 2010 3:26 pm

no need for sorry, I like Gemini’s because they keep my mind in a state of wonder! I often read your posts and think are you being serious or are you joking? but it does not matter because I understand your heart. You are a sensitive soul like me. I am not more intellectual then you, we may just think in different ways. You have been blessed with humour and you have had the intelligence to use your humour to amuse most of us here on this site. So thank you x
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Re: SHAME

Postby lyndsey » Sat Nov 27, 2010 10:56 pm

Hi Idealist

I agree with everything you say and this disorder has to be addressed mind body and spirit. I believe we are all spiritual beings in a physical body and when we are not doing what we are supposed to be we feel negative and different. I believe everyone on this website is highly spiritual, caring people and somehow we have lost our way and feel isolated but this gives us times to reflect on who we really are and what we are supposed to be doing. You are a Leo my youngest child is also I love them this makes you a natural born leader. I hope you dont mind me saying but you remind me of a lightworker, research this and see if you agree. I am like you feel everything in my gut and agree we all have to find ways of releasing the issues out of the tissues. Thanks idealist really enjoyed reading your posts it all makes us reflect more, and acknowledge our feelings which can only be a good thing. I hope youre feeling better and not missing university too much because of other people, do what Magsie says and put a bright light around yourself so that you dont take on peoples negative energy. Look forward to more informative posts take care of yourself.

Lyndsey x
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